𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (399)

Advising Before Warning: A Case of Deception in Marriage Suitability Question: السلام عليكم أحسن الله إليك My brother was keen on marrying a sister and then he found out she is upon tabarruj (unfortunately she deceived him by saying she does not do these things), posts herself online, uses muzmatch and other things which contradict the sharia هدانا الله و إياها He is now getting help from a friend to send a letter to her father to their home address and informing him of the aforementioned affairs, with the justification that brothers in the future won’t be deceived by her and that he’s a righteous man who will rectify the woman. Is this an appropriate measure to take? جزاك الله خيرا Answered by Sheikh Muhammad Al-’Ansi ḥafidhahullāh: Wa ʿalaykum as-salām wa raḥmatullāhi wa barakātuh, and may Allāh bless you. If it is possible to begin by advising her — even through some righteous women — so that the proof is established against her, and she is admonished and reminded to fear Allāh, then that is better. This allows for her to be corrected privately rather than exposed publicly. If she responds by concealing her faults, fearing Allāh, repenting sincerely, and rectifying her conduct, then her harm would be averted. However, we advise that your brother should still avoid marrying her. Even if she repents, a woman who has reached this state is not someone whose hand a righteous man would feel comfortable taking in marriage. If, on the other hand, she persists and remains defiant in her behavior, then there is no harm in informing her father. This could help stop her from continuing in this path, safeguard her dignity, and prevent her from falling into actions that would tarnish her own reputation and that of her family, or even lead to major sin. As you mentioned, some righteous men may be deceived by her, assuming she is upright while in reality she hides serious matters. In such a case, if her misdeeds become apparent and public, then it is permissible to warn others about her — particularly righteous brothers — so that they are not deceived. However, this should be done privately among trusted individuals, without publishing or spreading it online or through social media. That is unnecessary. It is sufficient to say, confidentially and among those concerned, that this woman is not upright, that she is sinful, and unworthy of a righteous man approaching her for marriage. That would suffice. May Allāh bless you. Source: https://t.me/womensbenefits/932