𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (365)

My Wife Doesn't Want to Wear Niqab Question: My wife wears the khimar (headscarf that covers the hair and neck), and I have repeatedly asked her to wear the niqab (face veil), but she has refused. This is despite the fact that she is religiously committed in many other aspects — she performs prayers, fasts, and reads the Qur’ān. What is the ruling on this? What advice would you give me? Sheikh Sulaymān Ar-Ruhaili hafidahullah: Praise be to Allāh, you have mentioned something commendable regarding her devotion and religious observance, and you have also done well in your efforts to guide her. Continue to advise her and persist in doing so, using appropriate and effective methods to influence her positively. As the saying goes, "Every person has a key" — so seek to find the key [to her heart]. I advise my brothers that along with calling others to what is right and enjoining good, one must also be patient — especially in certain countries. A woman may be accustomed to a certain way of life, and those around her might not practice what you are requesting of her. This can make the matter difficult and burdensome for her. Therefore, patience is essential. Be patient, my brother, and do not be hasty with her so long as she continues to perform her prayers and uphold the fundamental pillars of religion. Thank Allāh for that and persevere with her, while continuing to advise and guide her through all appropriate means. If you believe that being more firm with her would be beneficial, then do so — for you are responsible for her, as a guardian — but even then, remain patient. Just yesterday, a man from France contacted me. He claimed to have divorced his wife thirty times. Why? Because she refused to wear the hijab. I asked him about her religious commitment, and he said she prays regularly and is obedient in many matters, but refuses to wear the hijab. He himself had only become religious a year ago. He said, "I love righteousness and hate to see her without hijab, and we have children together." He told me he had divorced her more than thirty times. A valid divorce happens only three times. I told him: You say you are in France and only became religious a year ago, and you have children with her — which means you both previously lived a different lifestyle. Now, you want to transition her into a way of life she is unfamiliar with. This requires patience. You yourself are over forty and only became religious recently. 'He became religious' (التزم) was his expression, although the right term to use is 'upright' (استقام). So be patient with your wife as long as she is fulfilling her [prayers]...Yes, continue to encourage her and use all available means, but do not rush to divorce her as long as she is observant in her prayer. Praise be to Allāh — divorce is not necessary in this case. Since she may simply be unaccustomed to this, consider gradually easing her into it. For example, suggest a trip somewhere and make wearing the hijab a condition only for that place, saying: “I will not ask you to wear it here, but please wear it while we are there.” Take her to visit ‘Umrah, for instance — let her become familiar with the idea. Patience is essential, dear brothers. We must consider people’s circumstances. Countries and social environments differ. A wise and effective caller to Islam must exercise patience and discernment. He should distinguish between matters that require separation and those that do not, so he can act with insight and be a source of reform. Otherwise, he becomes كالمنبت لا أرضا قطع، ولا ظهرا أبقى like the stranded traveller, achieving neither his journey’s end nor preserving his mount.