𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (351)

My father is forcing me to play music at my wedding Questing: Music is prohibited in Islam, but if a father compels his son to have music at a wedding, is the son held accountable? Sheikh Yahya hafidahullah: "Obedience is only in matters that are lawful." It is not permissible to obey a created being in disobedience to the Creator. If a father says, “You have a wedding, and you must bring singers,” this is impermissible, and he must not be obeyed—whether the matter relates to Shirk or any other sin. [Allāh says]: “But if they strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness, and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return...” Our ultimate return is to Allāh: “Indeed, our return is to Allāh, and the transgressors will be the companions of the Fire.” The father and the son alike—everyone’s return is to Allāh. It is not permissible for a child to obey a parent, nor for a one to obey a leader, in matters that involve disobedience to Allāh, regardless of the nature of the sin—whether it is singing or anything else. If the son refuses such a request or command, he bears no sin before Allāh, rather, he is drawing nearer to Allāh through this act. Even if the father is someone who drinks alcohol and compels his child to buy it for him, it is not permissible to comply. “And cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate in sin and aggression.” "Indeed, obedience is only in what is lawful." If, for example, the father chews qat and says, “Go and get me some qat,” the child is under no obligation to do so. Obedience is only in what is lawful. There is no obedience to any created being in disobedience to the Creator. Buy your father his groceries, honour him, and fulfill his lawful needs—but do not get him qat, nor tobacco, nor snuff, nor anything else of that nature. What I intend by this time is to "support your brother, whether he is an oppressor or the oppressed," as narrated in the hadith of Anas (may Allāh be pleased with him), and also from Jabir: “Support your brother whether he is an oppressor or oppressed.” They asked: “O Messenger of Allāh, we understand helping him if he is oppressed, but how do we help him if he is the oppressor?” He replied: “By preventing him from committing oppression, for that is how you support him.” And the best person you can support is a close relative. Support him gently, just as Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) gently called his father: “O my father, why do you worship that which neither hears nor sees nor can avail you at all? O my father, indeed there has come to me knowledge that has not come to you, so follow me; I will guide you to a straight path. O my father, do not worship Shayṭān. Indeed Shayṭān has ever been, to the Most Merciful, disobedient. O my father, indeed I fear that there will touch you a punishment from the Most Merciful so you would be to Shayṭān a companion.” Thus, if someone—whether near or distant—commands you to commit a sin, there is no obedience to them. We are all servants of Allāh, obligated to worship and obey Him, and never to disobey Him. It was narrated that ‘Abdullāh ibn Ḥudhāfah was appointed commander of a military expedition. At one point during the journey, they made him angry so he said: “Gather firewood,” and they did. He said: “Light a fire,” and they did. Then he ordered: “Enter it!” But they said: “We fled from the fire [of Hell], so how can we enter this one?” When this was reported to the Prophet ﷺ, he said: “If they had entered it, they would never have emerged from it. Obedience is only in what is lawful.” That is to say, obedience to Allāh takes precedence over obedience to any human being. If someone kills himself or burns himself alive, he has committed a grave sin, and obeying someone in such a matter—even if that person is a commander—is not permissible.