𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (323)

Ruling on Preventing a Divorced Mother from Seeing Her Children Question: What is the ruling on depriving a divorced mother of her children and preventing her from seeing or communicating with them, whether by the father or his family? Sheikh Abdulḥamīd Az-Zu'kari hafidahullāh says: This is not permissible, as it constitutes severing family ties (قطع الرحم), which is one of the causes of Allāh’s curse. It is not permissible for a relative to be cut off from their kin. If a woman is divorced, she has the right to visit and inquire about her children. Before she remarries, she has a greater right to custody of them, unless she gets married, in which case custody may be reconsidered. When the children grow older (i.e. they reach the age of discerning), they may choose between living with their father or their mother. However, during their early years, the mother has the primary right to their custody, as she is more caring and attentive to their needs. Allāh Almighty says: “And do not forget graciousness between yourselves” [2:237], as many spouses, after separation, engage in hostility that is unnecessary and inappropriate. Consider the case of Zainab bint Jaḥsh (may Allāh be pleased with her), whom Zayd ibn Ḥarithah (may Allāh be pleased with him) divorced, yet he later proposed to her on behalf of the Messenger of Allāh ﷺ. Today, however, when a woman is divorced, she is often completely cut off from her former husband’s family. But in reality, family ties should be preserved, gratitude should not be forgotten, and loyalty to past relationships is a sign of true faith.