𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (300)

Resolving Marital Problems Through Shunning Shunning (الهجر) is a legitimate form of discipline. However, it is only prescribed when advice and admonition have proven ineffective, as Allāh, the Almighty, says: ﴿وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ﴾ "And those from whom you fear disobedience, admonish them and shun them in bed..." Also, know that boycotting has its etiquettes: For example, Sheikh Ibn Uthaymeen said: "Shun her within the home, and let no one be aware of your Shunning. Then, if reconciliation occurs, everything will return to normal without anyone having known about it." [Sharh Riyadh Ad-Salihin (3/132)] Also, the scholars of the Permanent Committee stated: "Whoever shuns his wife for more than three months: If this is due to her disobedience, meaning her failure to fulfill her marital duties, and she insists on this after being advised, warned of Allāh’s punishment, and reminded of her obligations toward her husband, then he may shun her in bed as he wishes, as a form of discipline until she fulfills her duties willingly. The Prophet ﷺ shunned his wives for a month. As for in speech, it is not permissible to shun her for more than three days, as it was reported from the Prophet ﷺ in the hadith of Anas ibn Malik (may Allāh be pleased with him) that he said: "It is not lawful for a Muslim to shun his brother for more than three days." This is narrated by Imam Bukhari and Muslim in their Sahihs, and by Ahmad in his Musnad. If the husband shuns his wife in bed for more than four months without her neglecting her marital duties, then he takes the ruling of a muwalli (a husband who swears an oath to abstain from having marital relations with his wife), even if he has not taken an oath of abstention. The duration of an oath of abstention is calculated. If four months pass and he does not return to his wife and have sexual relations with her, provided she is not menstruating or in postnatal bleeding, then he will be ordered to divorce her (i.e upon her request). If he refuses to return to her or refuses to divorce her, the judge will divorce her on his behalf or annul the marriage if the wife requests it. May Allāh grant success, and peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his companions." This was concluded by Sheikh Abdul Aziz bin Baz, Sheikh Abdul Aziz Al-Sheikh, Sheikh Saleh Al-Fawzan, and Sheikh Bakr Abu Zaid. [Fatwas of the Permanent Committee," (20/261-2639)] How does one shun in bed? Ibn Kathir (may Allāh have mercy on him) explained: "And His saying: (And shun them in bed), ’Ali ibn Abi Ṭalhah narrated from Ibn ’Abbas: 'Boycotting means not having sexual relations with her, lying next to her in bed, and turning your back on her.' This was also stated by several others. [Tafseer Ibn Kathir (2/294)] Is a disobedient wife entitled to maintenance? Ibn Qudāmah (may Allāh have mercy on him) said: "Whenever a disobedient wife refuses to share her husband's bed, leaves his home without his permission, refuses to move with him to a suitable residence, or refuses to travel with him, she is not entitled to maintenance or housing, according to the majority of scholars, including Ash-Sha’bi, Hammād, Mālik, Al-Awzā’ee, Ash-Shāfi’ee, the Hanafi scholars, and Abu Thawr. However, Al-Ḥakam said she is entitled to maintenance. Ibn al-Mundhir said: 'I do not know of anyone who disagrees with these scholars except Al-Hakam.'" [Al-Mughni (11/409-410)]