𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (296)

Resolving Marital Problems Through Sincere Advice It is well known that marital life comes with its challenges, disagreements, and conflicts. However, a strong partnership is one where both spouses can navigate these difficulties and find effective solutions to maintain harmony. One of the first and most effective methods in resolving marital problems is through exchanging sincere advice and guidance. Allāh ﷻ said: ﴿وَٱلَّـٰتِی تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ﴾ "And if you sense ill-conduct from your women, advise them..." [Surah An-Nisāʾ: 34] Al-Qurṭubī raḥimahullāh explained: «﴿فَعِظُوهُنَّ﴾ أَيْ بِكِتَابِ اللهِ، أَيْ ذَكِّرُوهُنَّ مَا أَوْجَبَ اللهُ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِنْ حُسْنِ الصُّحْبَةِ وَجَمِيلِ الْعِشْرَةِ لِلزَّوْجِ، وَالِاعْتِرَافِ بِالدَّرَجَةِ الَّتِي لَهُ عَلَيْهَا، وَيَقُولُ: إِنَّ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ قَالَ: ((لَوْ أمرت أحداً أَنْ يَسْجُدَ لِأَحَدٍ لَأَمَرْتُ الْمَرْأَةَ أَنْ تَسْجُدَ لِزَوْجِهَا))، وَقَالَ: ((لَا تَمْنَعْهُ نَفْسَهَا وَإِنْ كَانَتْ عَلَى ظَهْرِ قَتَبٍ))، وَقَالَ: ((أَيُّمَا امْرَأَةٍ بَاتَتْ هَاجِرَةً فِرَاشَ زَوْجِهَا لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلَائِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِحَ))، فِي رِوَايَةٍ ((حَتَّى تُرَاجِعَ وَتَضَعَ يَدَهَا فِي يَدِهِ))، وَمَا كَانَ مِثْلَ هَذَا» "(advise them) means to remind them with the Book of Allāh—reminding them of their obligation to maintain good companionship, treat their husbands with kindness, and acknowledge the rank that Allāh has granted the husband over his wife. He should remind her that the Prophet ﷺ said: ‘If I were to command anyone to prostrate before another, I would have commanded a woman to prostrate before her husband.’ He (ﷺ) also said: ‘She must not refuse him [intimacy], even if she is on the back of a camel.’ And he (ﷺ) said: ‘Any woman who spends the night shunning her husband's bed, the angels will curse her until morning.’ In another narration: ‘Until she reconciles and places her hand in his.’ And similar sayings of this nature." [Tafsīr al-Qurṭubī (5/171)] If the husband is at fault, the wife should similarly admonish him to fear Allāh. Allāh ﷻ said: ﴿وَلَهُنَّ مِثۡلُ ٱلَّذِی عَلَیۡهِنَّ بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِ﴾ "Women have rights similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable." [Surah Al-Baqarah: 228] Likewise, it was narrated on the authority of Abu Ruqayyah Tamīm Ad-Dāri that the Prophet ﷺ said: ((الدِّينُ النَّصِيحَةُ)) قُلْنَا لِمَنْ قَالَ ‏((للهِ وَلِكِتَابِهِ وَلِرَسُولِهِ وَلأَئِمَّةِ الْمُسْلِمِينَ وَعَامَّتِهِمْ)). "The Religion is sincerity." We said, "To whom?" He said "To Allāh, to His Book, To His Messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and their masses." [Sahih Muslim] Effective advice is characterised by: - Sincerity - Choosing the appropriate place & time - Using a considerate tone - Selecting the right words - Patience in dealing with adverse responses