A sister asks: Is it better for a female seeker of knowledge (Ṭālibat ʿIlm) to marry a seeker of knowledge (Ṭālib ʿIlm)?

Shaykha Umm ʿAbdillāh Al-Wādiʿiyyah حفظها الله says: 🕰️Marriage is a blessing from Allāh the Exalted, and it is the Sunnah of the Prophets and Messengers. Allāh the Exalted says: {وَلَقَدْ أَرْسَلْنا رُسُلًا مِنْ قَبْلِكَ وَجَعَلْنا لَهُمْ أَزْواجاً وَذُرِّيَّة} [الرعد: 38]. 'And indeed We sent Messengers before you (O Muhammad ﷺ) and made for them wives and offspring.' [ar-Raʿd: 38] Circumstances vary, and the matter ultimately depends on Allāh's success and provision. Through duʿāʾ and persistent supplication to your Lord, you may attain what you desire. If a Ṭālibat ʿIlm is blessed with the opportunity to marry a Ṭālib ʿIlm (then it should be one) who possesses good character. Not just any Ṭālib ʿIlm will do! Rather, he must be a man of good character who considers a woman's feelings, respects her, honors her, and maintains a mutual understanding with her. Allāh the Exalted says: {وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا} [الفرقان:74]. “And those who say: ‘Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us leaders for the righteous.’” [al-Furqān: 74] Imām as-Saʿdī رحمه الله said in his explanation of this verse: “Meaning: make them a source of joy and comfort for our eyes. When one reflects upon their condition and qualities, it becomes clear that their aspirations are lofty and their rank is high. Their eyes are not truly comforted until they see their spouses and children obedient to their Lord, possessing knowledge and acting upon it. This supplication is not only for the righteousness of their spouses and offspring; it is also a supplication for themselves, because its benefit returns to them. That is why they said: ‘Hab lanā’.¹ In fact, their supplication also benefits the Muslims in general, because the righteousness of those mentioned becomes a cause for the righteousness of many others who are connected to them and benefit from them.” Therefore, if a Ṭālibat ʿIlm finds a Ṭālib ʿIlm who possesses these qualities, then excellent indeed. If such a person is not available, then what matters is that, along with good character, he is righteous and steadfast upon the religion; that he hates music, is chaste, and stays away from betrayal and ḥarām relationships. Al-Bukhārī (5090), and Muslim (1466) Narrated from Abū Hurayrah رضي الله عنه that the Prophet ﷺ said: "A woman is married for four (things): Her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. So (be keen to) attain the one with religion, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e, "May you prosper")." 📀It is worth noting that among the women we knew were some who would reject a suitor unless he was more knowledgeable than they were. My father رحمه الله disapproved of this and said: "What benefit will his knowledge be to her if she does not strive diligently for herself?" ___ 1) 'Hab' (هَبْ) stems from the word 'وَهَبَ' (Wahaba) which means 'He gifted'. ___ Tr: Umm ʿAbdirraḥmān as-Sūdāniyyah