𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (626)

Handling Claims of Oppression and Preventing Division Within the Community Question: I would like some advice regarding an issue that has become ongoing within our community. There are individuals who claim to have been wronged or oppressed by their husband(s) who are students of knowledge or teachers. As a result, whenever those teachers are invited to teach, give reminders, or speak in the masjid, these individuals repeatedly make comments questioning why they are being given a platform and often allude to their personal grievances. While they may not explicitly mention details, their statements create negative assumptions about those teachers among the community. When advised that such matters should be handled through the appropriate channels and that raising marital disputes publicly can harm the da’wah, divide the community, and potentially fall into backbiting or unjust insinuation, they reject the advice. They argue that they are merely speaking about their own oppression and deny that they are speaking ill of anyone, despite the effect their statements have on people’s perceptions. They also argue that because they have been oppressed, they are entitled to speak about their oppression to whomever they wish and in whatever manner they wish, and therefore they are not blameworthy for repeatedly raising these matters to those who know nothing about the situation. Given that most people only hear one side of the story and do not know the full reality of the situation, this has caused confusion, mistrust, and tension within the community, particularly among female students of knowledge. My questions are: 1) How should we deal with individuals who continually raise personal grievances against students of knowledge or teachers in a way that harms the da’wah and causes division? 2) Is it correct to say that a person who has been oppressed may repeatedly speak about the alleged oppressor to whomever they wish and whenever they wish without restriction? 3) What are the limits, according to the Qur’an and Sunnah, regarding an oppressed person mentioning the wrongdoing of another person? At what point, if any, does repeatedly mentioning such grievances become backbiting, tale-bearing, harmful insinuation, or a cause of fitnah within the community? 4) How should nasiha be given in such situations when advice is repeatedly rejected? 5) Is it permissible to distance oneself from such individuals after prolonged efforts to advise them and prevent these discussions? 6) If interaction with them regularly leads to hearing insinuations, complaints, and community discord, is it permissible to limit or completely avoid engagement with them for the sake of protecting one’s religion and preserving unity? Answered by Sheikh Muhammad Al-'Ansi hafidhahullah: "Allah is the One Whose help is sought. Allah is the One Whose help is sought. We advise our brothers who have not oppressed anyone, although we are not infallible, and it is rare for any household to be free from some problems and family disputes. Even the righteous servants of Allah were not spared from issues in their homes or some differences with their wives. Allah Almighty has mentioned in the Noble Qur'an the disputes that occur between spouses, the conflicts, and the fear of separation. This is stated in the Book of Allah, so there should be neither excess nor negligence. Thus, we should not exaggerate what happens with some women — may Allah guide them — who are harsh in their criticism, complain excessively about things that are not worth complaining about, and go to extremes in criticism, defamation, speech, and accusations. Nor should we allow the oppressor to oppress, misbehave, or fail to treat his wife kindly. Neither extreme is correct. Allah Almighty says regarding husbands and their wives: {Then retain them in kindness or release them with goodness} — this is obligatory for men. And regarding women, Allah Almighty says: {As for those from whom you fear illconduct, advise them, forsake them in bed, and strike them.