Why a brother from back home?

A sister writes: When I say “a brother from back home,” I want to clarify what I mean. Technically, I am a Westerner, an African American woman born and raised in America. I am also currently married to a West African, specifically a Gambian. For me, choosing a brother from “back home” was not about romanticizing another culture or believing one group of people is perfect. It came from my own lived experiences and what I personally desired in a marriage. In my experience, many brothers from Africa tend to be more connected to deen, family, and community. I found many to come from more humble lifestyles, to be more patient with hardships, less wasteful, and often more appreciative of simple things. I also appreciated the emphasis on family ties, communal responsibility, and Islamic identity that I observed. As someone who has been married to Westerners and who is a Westerner myself, I can also honestly acknowledge some of the challenges we face in the West. Many of us, men and women, are navigating marriage without strong Islamic family structures or support systems. A lot of Muslims in the West are converts or come from non Muslim or fractured family backgrounds. Many do not have elders, practicing families, or strong communal support when marriages struggle. Alhamdulillah, I was born and raised Muslim, so I had the blessing of some Islamic support and family structure. But I recognized that in my previous relationships, there were values I deeply desired that were not aligned with what I personally wanted in a marriage, strong family ties, communal values, appreciation for kinship, and a shared understanding of responsibility and deen. What I found in my current marriage and in West African culture, particularly, were many of the things I had been seeking. Of course, no people or culture are perfect, and every marriage has its own tests, but for me, this felt more equally yoked in terms of values, family orientation, and lifestyle. [end quote] https://t.me/womensbenefits/1737