𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (588)

The Story of Umm Zar' and the Women Describing Their Husbands Narrated by 'Aishah bint Abi Bakr (may Allah be pleased with her and her father): Eleven women sat together and made a promise that they would not hide anything about their husbands. The first woman said: “My husband is like weak camel meat placed on top of a mountain—hard to reach, and not worth the effort even if you could.” The second said: “I won’t speak about my husband, because I’m afraid I wouldn’t finish if I started. If I describe him, I would mention all his faults, big and small.” The third said: “My husband is very tall and harsh. If I speak, he divorces me; if I stay silent, he leaves me hanging.” The fourth said: “My husband is like the night of Tihama—neither too hot nor too cold, and there is no fear or boredom with him.” (meaning: calm and pleasant) The fifth said: “My husband is like a cheetah at home (gentle and relaxed), and like a lion outside (strong and brave). He doesn’t question me about what I do.” The sixth said: “My husband eats greedily, drinks everything, sleeps wrapped up, and doesn’t even reach out his hand to understand my feelings.” The seventh said: “My husband is foolish and weak, full of faults. If he harms you, he either injures you badly or does everything at once.” The eighth said: “My husband feels soft like a rabbit and smells like sweet perfume.” (meaning: gentle and pleasant) The ninth said: “My husband is noble—his tent is tall, his sword strap long, his cooking fire large, and his home is close to where guests gather.” (meaning: generous and honourable) The tenth said: “My husband is Malik—and what can I say about Malik? He is even better than that! He owns many camels that stay near home. When they hear music, they know they will be slaughtered for guests.” (meaning: extremely generous) The eleventh said: “My husband is Abu Zar'—and what can I say about Abu Zar'? He gave me so much jewelery that my ears became heavy, and he filled my arms with richness. He made me feel proud and happy. He found me living with poor people and moved me to a life of comfort, with horses, camels, and wealth. With him, I speak freely and am never insulted. I sleep comfortably and drink to my fill. His mother—what a mother! She is wealthy and her house is spacious. His son—he is slim and eats little. His daughter—she obeys her parents, is well-fed, and makes her neighbours jealous. His servant—she keeps our secrets, takes good care of our food, and keeps the house clean. But one day, Abu Zar' went out while the milk was being prepared, and he met another woman who had two children like little leopards playing at her waist. He divorced me and married her. After him, I married a noble man who rode fine horses, gave me many animals, and provided me with everything. He told me, ‘Eat, Umm Zar', and give to your family.’ Even so, if I gathered everything he gave me, it would not equal the smallest thing Abu Zar' gave me.” The Messenger of Allah ﷺ then said to 'Aishah: “I am to you like Abu Zar' was to Umm Zar'.” [Agreed upon; this is the wording of Bukhari (1988)] Some scholars said that this hadith describes the different kinds of spouses that exist among men and women.