𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (570)

Privacy And Lodging In Marriage Question: السلام عليكم ورحمة و بركاتة is it wrong for me to insist on a separate home for privacy and peace, when living with my mother-in-law has brought constant distress, lack of privacy, and interference in my marriage? This same house that we share a toilet and bathroom and my brother in law comes to stay for weeks, which is very uncomfortable for me as a Niqaabi. Insisting for a separate apartment has caused lots of issues, of which my husband's elder sister said I should go back to my father's house if I don't want to live with her mother. Shaykh Faysal Al-Hashidi: و عليكم السلام و رحمة و بركاتة My dear sister, your question is important, and many women experience similar situations. The answer has both a religious (Islamic legal) aspect and a family-related aspect. 1⃣. The Islamic ruling regarding housing The basic principle in Islamic law is that the wife has the right to a separate residence where her honor is protected and where she finds comfort and privacy. Allaah says: “Lodge them where you dwell, according to your means.” (At-Talaq:6) Scholars have mentioned that among the wife’s rights is: A separate residence in which no one lives with her who may harm her or cause her discomfort Imam Ibn Qudāmah (رحمه الله) said: "She has the right to request a separate dwelling in which none of his family shares with her, because sharing it causes harm to her and prevents complete marital privacy.” Therefore, many jurists stated: If the wife is harmed by living with the husband’s family, she has the right to request an independent residence. 2⃣. The issue of the mother-in-law (the husband’s mother) Serving the husband’s mother or living with her is not an obligation upon the wife in Islamic law. However, if a woman does it willingly, it is considered kindness and virtue. But it is not permissible to force the wife into that arrangement if it leads to harm or loss of privacy. 3⃣. The issue of the husband’s brother living in the house The presence of the husband’s brother in the house while sharing facilities may cause significant discomfort, especially for a woman who wears the niqāb. The Prophet ((ﷺ)) said: "The in-law (Al-ḥamw) is death" This means a strong warning against being careless regarding seclusion and free mixing with the husband’s male relatives. Therefore, your request for privacy in such a situation is reasonable and Islamically valid. 4⃣. Are you wrong? Based on what you mentioned: Continuous discomfort Lack of privacy Sharing the bathroom The presence of the husband’s brother at times in the house Your request for a separate residence is not Islamically wrong. However, it is better that the request be made: With kindness With a gentle approach Without disrespect toward the husband’s mother 5⃣. An important piece of advice Sometimes the issue is not the right itself, but the way it is requested. You might explain to your husband, for example: That you love and respect his mother, but you need privacy for your marital life, and that living separately may improve the relationship rather than harm it. Many families improve when there is closeness without constant shared living. 6⃣. The statement of your husband’s sister Her statement, “Go back to your parents’ house if you don’t want to live with his mother,” is not an Islamic ruling, but simply her personal opinion. Islamically, the husband is responsible for providing suitable housing for his wife according to his ability. ▪️Summary: Requesting a separate residence is your Islamic right if harm exists. Living with the husband’s family is not obligatory. However, the matter should be handled with wisdom and gentleness so that disagreements do not escalate. Source: t.me/EngFatawaboxes_9_9_9_Bot