𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (558)

Is a Husband Cursed For Refusing Intimacy? Question: If a woman refuses intimacy with her husband, there is a hadith that mentions a curse upon her. But if a husband refuses his wife in the same way, does the same ruling apply or not? Sheikh Sa'd Al-Khathlan: First: When a woman refuses her husband’s call to bed, there is a strong warning in the words of the Prophet (peace be upon him): “If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, the angels curse her until morning.” This hadith is reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim. This shows that such refusal is a major sin, because a curse is only mentioned for major sins. As for the husband: he is also commanded to treat his wife kindly. If he stops marital relations and refuses intimacy, Allah says: “Those who swear to abstain from their wives must wait four months. If they return, then Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. But if they decide on divorce, then Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.” Allah has set a limit of four months for a man who swears not to have relations with his wife. After four months, he must either return to normal marital relations or divorce her. He is not allowed to leave her hanging—without intimacy and without divorce—because just as he has rights, she also has rights in this matter. This is the ruling in general. Perhaps the questioner also means something else: Just as a man approaches his wife, if a woman prepares herself for her husband, [what is the case]? We say that the woman allows her husband access to her, but the act of intercourse itself is carried out by the man. That is why the specific warning was mentioned regarding the woman’s refusal. However, even so, it is not allowed for a man to abandon his wife for a long time and leave her suspended like this. Allah has limited it to four months(1). If he returns and resumes marital relations, then Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. But if he refuses and insists on avoiding intimacy, he is ordered to divorce her. If he refuses to divorce, a judge can force him to do so. -------------- (1) https://t.me/womensbenefits/617 Conclusion: the husband is required to protect his wife’s chastity and fulfil her when she needs intimacy. He is not allowed to neglect this except for a valid reason or a lawful excuse. Scholars have differed about how often this is required. The stronger opinion is that it depends on her need and his ability. If he does not fulfill this without a valid excuse, then he is sinful. As for saying that he is cursed if he refuses his wife when she calls him for her need, there's no evidence proving that.