𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (115)

Pornography Email correspondence: “Assalamualaikum Wa Rahmatullaahi Wa Barakaatuhu, please, someone really needs help. There is a boy who was trying in practicing Islaam. But as time goes, he fell short in issues regarding FAHSHAA (probably during his time of weakness). He found himself watching pornographic videos and pictures online. Anytime he does it he always do Tawbah. But he could not hold back himself from not returning back to it. So currently, he has started losing the Ni'mah of immediate Tawbah after the sin and has started having the feeling of committing the FAHSHAA(Na'oodhubillaahi min dhaalik) itself. And he is very afraid of being exposed by ALLAAH. Please can you help and hoped for Barakah from ALLAAH to change him and also benefit us with it. He's shy and doesn't want to be known with such. He wants to change for good. Please can you assist as death has no pre-notice. JAZAAKUMULLAAHU KHAYR.” Response: Wa'aleikum salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. Allāh praised those who guard their chastity and mentioned this among the qualities of those who will be made to inherit Al-Firdaws [see Surah Al-mu'minoon 1 - 11] On the other hand, Allāh rebuked those who go beyond His limits by fulfilling their sexual desires outside marriage (or slave-girls) and described the as being 'TRANSGRESSORS!' {فَأُو۟لَـٰۤىِٕكَ هُمُ ٱلۡعَادُونَ} [Surah Al-Mu'minun 7] If it's shameful to be known as a transgressor amongst the creation, then what about the Creator?!!! Here are some advices which I hope will be of benefit: 1⃣. MARRIAGE: Scholars mention that marriage is recommended on a general sense, but in the case of one who fears committing Ḥarām, marriage becomes obligatory. So if that is the case of one who 'fears' for himself, what of the one who is already committing ḥaram on a constant basis?!!! Marriage is a solution prescribed by the Prophet ﷺ. He ﷺ said: ((فإنه أغض للبصر وأحصن للفرج)) “It (i.e. marriage) allows one to lower their gaze and guard their chastity.” (reported by Bukhāri & Muslim from the ḥadīth of ibn Mas’ūd) And if this brother is already married but still falling short, he should consider marrying a 2nd, 3rd or 4th - provided he can maintain justice, as Allah said: {فَٱنكِحُوا۟ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ ٱلنِّسَاۤءِ مَثۡنَىٰ وَثُلَـٰثَ وَرُبَـٰعَۖ فَإِنۡ خِفۡتُمۡ أَلَّا تَعۡدِلُوا۟ فَوَ ٰ⁠حِدَةً أَوۡ مَا مَلَكَتۡ أَیۡمَـٰنُكُمۡۚ} “Marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess.” [Sūrah An-Nisā' 3] If marriage is not an option due to lack of funds, he should borrow and Allāh will aid him in repaying it. The Prophet ﷺ said: ((من أخذ أموال الناس يريد أداءها، أدى الله عنه)) “Whoever borrowed money from people seeking to repay it, Allāh will (assist him to) repay it.” [Bukhari & Muslim] 2⃣. FASTING: If marriage is not possible, he should suppress & subdue his desire through fasting; which is another recommendation of the Prophet ﷺ (same ḥadīth as above) 3⃣. SELF ASSESSMENT: What triggers him to do this? Oftentimes you'll find that looking at ḥarām is one of the main causes for a person to become aroused. If so, then we must eliminate this by: - lowering our gaze - avoid free mixing and free mixed environments as much as possible - placing restrictions on internet usage, parental control, passwords, etc. If a person commits haram while he is alone on the Internet, perhaps he should only use the Internet when he is in a public space. For example, place the computer or use the phone in the sitting room. 4⃣. KNOWING THE MIGHT & POWER OF THE ONE YOU'RE DISOBEYING: Ask yourself, would you be able to do these things while people are watching you? That is very shameful right?