Maintaining Marital Harmony

Question: The woman asking the question also says: I have neighbours from Ahlus-Sunnah, and my husband hates them. I have not seen any harm from them; rather, the harm comes from him, through insulting them and harbouring bad suspicions about them. Now he prevents me from going to them and visiting them, and from taking anything that comes from them, or from giving them anything, or lending them anything even something small from cooking supplies. Is there any sin upon me if I give them something without his knowledge? Shaykh Muhammad Ba Jamal ḥafidhahullāh: We advise this woman not to confront her husband, not to oppose him, and not to let disputes and quarrels arise between them because of the neighbours. For the Muslim is required not to harm his neighbours: “Whoever believes in Allāh and the Last Day must not harm his neighbour.” [Sahih Al-Bukhari 6136] Likewise, he should honour his neighbour and be kind to him, and kindness includes both words and actions. So our advice to this woman is not to quarrel with her husband over the neighbours, because that may cause conflict and arguments, and perhaps even lead to divorce. Let the woman be alert and careful. For example, if she says, “I want to go to so-and-so’s family,” and he says, “No,” then that is it, no need for debate: “Why can’t I go? What’s wrong with them?” and so on. He said no, so no. And I do not think that he insults them and thinks badly of them except because of her repeatedly asking to go to them. So she should remain quiet. If she knows that he does not want her to go to them, then she should not go, and she is excused in that. If his preventing her is for a legitimate Islamic reason that he knows but she does not, and he does not see it in her interest to disclose it, then his prevention is a religiously valid one. And if his preventing her is out of injustice toward the neighbours, bad suspicion, delusions, and the like, then he bears the responsibility for that, while she should still comply with her husband’s instruction. A woman who has sound judgment does not constantly confront her husband or engage in disputes. If he says “no,” then it is no; if he says “yes,” then it is yes. Constant arguing and disputing is wrong. How many women lack good conduct and proper dealing? Sometimes a husband may end up wronging his wife because of her bad behaviour. So a woman should be sensible and seek her dignity her dignity is in her husband’s home, and in not causing her own divorce. As for if, for example, he asks her for something: if what he asks for is actually her own right and not the husband’s right, and she gives it without his knowing, then there is no harm in that. But if she is able to avoid that, then that is better, so that if her husband finds out, nothing occurs between him and her. Source: https://t.me/EngFatawaboxes_9_9_9_Bot