To Share or Not to Share Marriage Profiles: A Friendly Discussion

🚫 Opponent: The Prophet ﷺ did not teach us to write marriage profiles and circulate them. None of the women among the Sahābiyyāt did so. ✅ Supporter: Did women not present themselves directly to the Prophet ﷺ? 🚫 Opponent: Yes. ✅ Supporter: Which would be considered more immodest—presenting a general profile in writing to potential suitors, or presenting oneself directly and physically to a suitor? 🚫 Opponent: The latter. ✅ Supporter: Then what is the objection? 🚫 Opponent: Wasn’t this practice—women presenting themselves directly—exclusive to the Prophet ﷺ? ✅ Supporter: The foundational principle is that the actions of the Prophet ﷺ constitute legislation for the Ummah. It is not permissible to claim that any of his actions were exclusive to him unless there is authentic evidence establishing such exclusivity. Allāh ﷻ says: “Indeed, in the Messenger of Allah you have an excellent example.” [Al-Aḥzāb 33:21] Based on this principle, the Companions (may Allāh be pleased with them) would emulate the Prophet ﷺ in his actions and did not ask whether a particular action was specific to him. Abu Saʿīd Al-Khudrī (may Allāh be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allāh ﷺ removed his sandals during prayer, and the people removed theirs as well. When he asked them why, they replied that they had followed his example. He then explained that Jibrīl had informed him of impurity on his sandals. [Reported by Ahmad and authenticated] Moreover, the Prophet ﷺ became upset when some of his Companions assumed that certain actions were exclusive to him without evidence. ʿĀʾishah (may Allāh be pleased with her) reported that a man said to the Prophet ﷺ that he woke in a state of major ritual impurity while intending to fast. The Prophet ﷺ explained that he did the same and still fasted. When the man claimed that the Prophet ﷺ was different because his sins had been forgiven, the Prophet ﷺ became angry and said that he was the most God-fearing and most knowledgeable of what he followed. [Reported by Abu Dāwūd and authenticated] Ibn Ḥazm (may Allāh have mercy on him) stated: “It is not permissible to claim that any action of the Prophet ﷺ was exclusive to him without explicit textual evidence. He ﷺ became angry at such claims, and whatever angered the Messenger of Allāh ﷺ is prohibited.” So, do you have any evidence that this was specific to the Prophet ﷺ? 🚫 Opponent: No. ✅ Supporter: Then consider the following: Thābit Al-Bunānī reported: I was with Anas, and one of his daughters was with him. Anas said: A woman came to the Messenger of Allāh ﷺ and offered herself to him, saying, “O Messenger of Allāh, do you have any need of me?” The daughter of Anas said: “How lacking in modesty she is! How shameful! How shameful!” Anas replied: “She is better than you. She desired the Prophet ﷺ and therefore offered herself to him.” [Reported by Al-Bukhārī (no. 4828)] Imam Al-Bukhārī titled this chapter: “A woman offering herself to a righteous man.” 🚫 Opponent: But does this not open the door to fitnah? ✅ Supporter: Do you at least agree that this approach is permissible? 🚫 Opponent: Yes. ✅ Supporter: Al-ḥamdu lillāh. If this is permissible, then sharing a modest, general marriage profile—something far less direct—is even more deserving of permissibility. Fitnah must be avoided in all cases, whether through written profiles or direct approaches. For those concerned about sharing profiles, safeguards can be implemented, such as those outlined here: ⤵️ https://t.me/womensbenefits/1353 And with regard to direct communication, it should be avoided as much as possible, for example: The righteous woman in the story of Mūsā (peace be upon him) hinted at her desire for marriage when she said: “O my father, hire him. Indeed, the best one you can hire is the strong and the trustworthy.” [Al-Qaṣaṣ 28:26]