𝗠𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (45)

Is It Wrong to Consider a Spouse’s Ability to Help Care for My Elderly Mother When Marrying? On the authority of Jābir ibn ʿAbdillāh (may Allāh be pleased with him and his father), who said: The Messenger of Allāh ﷺ said to me, “Have you married?” I replied, “Yes.” He said, “A virgin or a previously married woman?” I replied, “Rather, a previously married woman.” He said, “Why not a young girl whom you could play with and who could play with you?” I said, “I have sisters, and I preferred to marry a woman who could gather them, comb their hair, and look after them.” Reflection: We see in this ḥadīth that Jābir ibn ʿAbdillāh (may Allāh be pleased with him) married his wife so she could help his sisters with household duties, and the Messenger of Allāh ﷺ did not object. So in answer to your question, my dear brother: while there is nothing wrong with marrying a woman who can help care for your elderly mother, the real challenge today is finding such a woman. In our time, if someone were to say this to his wife, many might respond, “I’m not a maid for your mother!” Source: https://t.me/Menzbenefits/122