𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (475)

The Dangers of Hindering Women from Marriage and a Warning to Their Guardians of Its Outcome Praise be to Allāh, and may peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allāh, his family, his companions, and all who follow them in righteousness. To proceed: Allāh the Exalted created mankind and divided them into male and female so that they might reproduce and populate the earth. Allāh The Almighty said: “And of everything We created two mates, that you may remember.” [Adh-Dhāriyāt 51:49] And He said: “And that He created the two mates—the male and the female.” [An-Najm 53:45] Allāh, Exalted be He, has made the relationship between man and woman one of complementarity. The man is made responsible for her, and it is obligatory upon him to show her mercy and kindness if she is his wife, and to show care and protection if she is his daughter or sister. A woman has the right to marry, and it is not permissible for her guardian (wali) to prevent her from doing so, nor to reject a suitable suitor without valid reason. The Prophet ﷺ said: “When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to marry [your daughter], then marry her to him. If you do not do so, there will be tribulation on earth and widespread corruption.” [Related by At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Mājah; authenticated by Al-Albāni] “Widespread corruption” here means extensive evil and disorder, for if you refuse to marry off your daughters except to men of wealth or status, many of your women will remain unmarried, and many of your men will remain without wives. This leads to temptation, the spread of immorality, and may bring shame upon families, causing discord, corruption, the severing of lineages, and a decline in virtue and chastity. If a guardian prevents a woman under his care from marrying a suitable suitor, this constitutes ‘aḍl (unjust prevention), which is an act of wrongdoing that Allāh has forbidden in the Qur'ān. ‘Aḍl means to restrain a woman from marrying someone compatible with her for any reason. Allāh the Exalted said: “Do not prevent them from remarrying their (former) husbands if they mutually agree on reasonable terms. This is instructed to whoever among you believes in Allāh and the Last Day. That is purer and better for you, and Allāh knows, while you know not.” [Al-Baqarah 2:232] Reflect, O oppressor who withholds marriage from women under your care! Allāh, the Almighty, concludes this Āyah by admonishing guardians against ‘aḍl, and He declares that marrying women to men of good religion and character whom they desire is purer and better for them. Allāh knows best what is good for them and for their daughters. He also said: “And do not constrain them in order to take back part of what you have given them.” [An-Nisa’ 4:19] How many virtuous women, lacking nothing that would qualify them for marriage, have been deprived of it only because they were tested with a guardian who rejects suitable suitors for trivial reasons—how numerous such trivialities are today! He assumes he knows what is best for her until her hair turns gray, her happiness is destroyed, and her hopes and dreams fade away. This poor yet tyrannical guardian fails to realise that even if a woman were to possess the treasures of the earth, the wealth of Qārūn, and the highest of academic degrees, she would find no true happiness except through a husband and children whose presence brings comfort in her later years. Consider the sorrow of a woman who, having grown old due to her guardian’s refusal, watches her relatives and peers enjoying the blessings of husbands, children, and homes, while she remains alone. How many wronged and deprived women have raised their hands in supplication against those who oppressed and prevented them from marriage—whether that oppressor be a father, mother, or brother—because of the pain they endure from being denied the life of marriage every woman longs for!