𝗠𝗮𝗱𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗮 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (6)

❌ Do not say, “I am the man; you have no say, and you may not question or discuss matters with me.” Shaykh Jamāl ibn Furayḥān Al-Ḥārithī (may Allāh have mercy on him) said: O Husband! Be humble toward your wife, and do not act arrogantly over her under the pretext of your authority (qiwāmah). You are indeed the man—there is no doubt about that—but do not try to affirm your manhood by dominating her, belittling her, refusing to listen to her, or by failing to seek her satisfaction when you have wronged her. Your apology to her, when you err, is among the noblest and most refined of manners — a true sign of character, not of weakness. Do not say, “I am the man; you have no say, and you may not question or discuss matters with me.” Who are you, O husband? Those who were far better than you and of higher virtue were indeed questioned and addressed by their wives. This is authentically reported about the Companions (may Allāh be pleased with them). In fact, this occurred even with some of the Mothers of the Believers (may Allāh be pleased with them) in their dealings with the Prophet ﷺ himself. ‘Umar ibn Al-Khaṭṭāb (may Allāh be pleased with him) related about himself, saying: “We, the people of Quraysh, used to have authority over our women. But when we came to the Anṣār, we found that their women had the upper hand over them. So our women began to adopt the ways of the women of the Anṣār. I once raised my voice at my wife, and she responded back to me, which I found strange and objected to. She said, ‘Why do you find it strange that I should reply to you? By Allāh, the wives of the Prophet ﷺ speak back to him, and one of them may even avoid him for an entire day until the night!’ This frightened me, so I said, ‘She who does so has certainly failed greatly!’ Then I went to Ḥafṣah and said, ‘O Ḥafṣah! Does any one of you become upset with the Messenger of Allāh ﷺ for a whole day until the night?’ She said, ‘Yes.’” [Narrated by Al-Bukhārī (2336) and Muslim (1479)] In another narration, ‘Umar said: “O Messenger of Allāh, if you had seen me! We, the people of Quraysh, used to have control over our women, but when we came to Madīnah, we found a people whose women had control over them.” The Prophet ﷺ then smiled. This Hadith contains great lessons, among them: 1⃣. A wife’s withdrawal or displeasure during the day (without extending it through the night) is permissible. So take heed, O women! 2⃣. The Prophet’s ﷺ approval of women expressing their opinions to their husbands—evident from his smile in response to ‘Umar’s words. 3⃣. ‘Umar’s humility and compliance when he learned from his wife that the wives of the Prophet ﷺ spoke back to him. He did not respond with pride or harshness, but accepted the example of the Prophet ﷺ as his perfect model. He did not say, “What have I to do with the wives of the Prophet or with others?”—as is the case with many men today! 4⃣. Ibn Ḥajar said: “This hadith shows that harshness and severity toward women is blameworthy, for the Prophet ﷺ followed the manner of the Anṣār in dealing with their wives and abandoned the way of his own people.” [Fatḥ Al-Bārī (9/291)] So would that men today follow the example of our Prophet ﷺ! Sadly, some who claim to adhere to the Sunnah and to the Salafi path mistreat their wives, humiliate them, and fail to honour them—while the Sunnah commands the very opposite. How far apart are such men from true uprightness! Source: https://t.me/abufraihanjamal/193