𝗠𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (114)

Helping a Father Fulfill His Obligations to Two Wives Question: I am a young woman living in Britain with my family. My father works and recently married a second wife, yet he constantly complains about financial hardship and the high cost of living. As a result, my brother and I have been giving him money every month to cover the rent, and we share the cost of groceries each week, while my mother buys the remaining household necessities. This left only the water and electricity bills and the cost of meat for him to pay. We were shocked to discover that he had taken a second wife, even though he has been asking us for money every month. My mother had not known the extent of the financial help we were giving him. She has now asked him to provide fully for us, just as he provides for his new wife. He refused. My mother says that we should stop giving him money because he is responsible for our maintenance, and marrying a second wife is a luxury. I am afraid that if I refuse to give him money next month, I will be disobeying him. The arguments at home have become intense, and people have tried to mediate and reconcile matters, but without success. What is the Islamic ruling on this matter? Would we be sinful if we stopped helping him financially? Is a father required to be fair in spending and maintenance between his wives and his children? May Allah reward you with goodness. Shaykh Muhammad Al-Ansi hafidhahullah: The basic principle is that if a man is married whether to one, two, three, or four wives it is obligatory upon him to spend on them (provide maintenance). If there is one wife, it is obligatory to spend on her. If there are two, it is obligatory to spend on both. Part of justice is to be fair in maintenance; just as he spends on this one, he must spend on the other. It is not permissible for him to spend on one and neglect the other, whether it is the second wife or the first. This is an obligation upon him, yes. This applies if he is capable and has the financial means. However, if he is poor, destitute, and his work is not enough to provide for his essential needs, while his sons are well-off and possess wealth, then it becomes obligatory upon his sons to assist their father. This is part of righteousness (Birr), and 'show kindness to parents.' Yes, (as stated in the Hadith): 'Who among the people is most deserving of my good companionship? The Prophet (ﷺ) said: Your mother' he repeated this three times,then he asked: Then who? The Prophet said: Then your father.' Similarly, the Prophet (ﷺ) said regarding doing good: 'Your mother, your father, your sister, your brother, and then those closest to you, then those closest.' And Allah, the Almighty, said: {یَسۡـَٔلُونَكَ مَاذَا یُنفِقُونَۖ قُلۡ مَاۤ أَنفَقۡتُم مِّنۡ خَیۡرࣲ فَلِلۡوَ ٰ⁠لِدَیۡنِ وَٱلۡأَقۡرَبِینَ وَٱلۡیَتَـٰمَىٰ وَٱلۡمَسَـٰكِینِ وَٱبۡنِ ٱلسَّبِیلِۗ وَمَا تَفۡعَلُوا۟ مِنۡ خَیۡرࣲ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ بِهِۦ عَلِیمࣱ﴿ ٢١٥ ﴾ They ask you (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) what they should spend. Say: Whatever you spend of good must be for parents and kindred and orphans and Al-Masâkîn (the poor) and the wayfarer, and whatever you do of good deeds, truly, Allâh knows it well. [Al-Baqarah, Ayah 215] Therefore, it is much better and more virtuous for a person to spend on their father and mother than to spend on strangers. This is part of righteousness (Birr), yes. So, you should let him (the father) hear this. Let him hear it if he accepts advice, that the fatwa of the scholars in fact, the word of Allah and the word of His Messenger is that the maintenance (financial support) is his responsibility. Yes, this is what is obligatory upon him: to provide maintenance for both the first wife and the second wife. As for the situation you mentioned, assist him, as it is an act of righteousness. If he falls short (in his duties), his sin is upon himself. However, you should assist him because this (marrying a second wife) is a permissible matter. He married a second time; he did not commit a sin, nor did he do anything reprehensible.