𝗠𝗲𝗻'𝘀 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 (69)

How is justice attained between the first and second wife? (forwarded) 1. It begins with him spending three nights with the new wife as soon as he marries her if she is not a virgin, or seven nights if she is a virgin. There is no allotment between the two wives during this period, as proven by the ḥadīth of Anas ibn Mālik (may Allāh be pleased with him), who said: “It is from the Sunnah that when a man marries a virgin, he remains with her for seven nights, then after that he begins allotment. And when he marries a non-virgin, he remains with her for three nights, then begins allotment.” [Reported by al-Bukhārī and Muslim] 2. After this, the allotment begins with alternate nights (or whatever allotment they mutually agree), as was the practice of the Prophet ﷺ. 3. The basis of allotment returns to the nights. As for the daytime, he remains with his wives according to his work schedule. He may have work on one wife’s turn, meaning he can only stay with her briefly or when his work permits. However, he is not allowed to deliberately assign work on days belonging to one wife in order to avoid spending time with her. He must not pursue such behaviour; rather, it must be left to Allāh’s decree (i.e., whichever wife’s allotment the work coincides with). 4. Moreover, during the daytime he should remain with the wife whose turn it is. However, he is allowed to make short visits to the other wife, whether the first or the second. Thus, if he is with the first, he may visit the second, and if it is the second wife’s turn, he may visit the first—briefly, in order to check up on her. The Prophet ﷺ would visit his wives after ʿAṣr without engaging in sexual intercourse, merely to check on them, without prolonging his visits. 5. It is not permissible for the husband to have sexual intercourse with any of his wives during the allotted day or night of another, because this is one of her rights. Thus, he is not allowed to visit the other wife during the former’s allotment and engage in intercourse with her. 6. It makes no difference whether the allotment begins at nightfall—as was the practice of the Prophet ﷺ, such that the daytime follows the previous night—or whether the allotment begins after Ṣalāt Al-Fajr, such that the night follows the day. Both are permissible, though the preferred method is that of the Prophet ﷺ, in which the allotment begins at nightfall and includes the following day. 7. It is also permissible to start the allotment after Ṣalāt Adh-Dhuhr, when the sun reaches its zenith. In other words, each wife should be given an equal allotment: one day and one night, or more than that, provided both wives consent—such as two or three nights each. This may be useful if his houses are far apart and he needs to allocate more time. In general, he should not add to the allotment without consulting his wives. 8. If reaching an agreement is too difficult, then he may opt for something suitable, and there is no harm in that, because this is still a form of justice, even if one of them disapproves. If appeasing both is too difficult, then the goal is to maintain justice, which is achieved by giving equal time—whether two, three, or more nights each. However, the allotment must not be so lengthy that it causes harm to either woman. 9. Furthermore, when one wife becomes sick, he must not go and have intercourse with the other wife. This is a mistake. It is not permissible to leave the sick wife simply because she is unwell. Rather, he must remain with her on her night, consoling her during her illness, which will cheer her. As for deserting her at this time and spending the night with the other wife, this is not permissible and is a form of oppression. 10. Likewise, it is not permissible for him to be crafty in allocating time, such as giving one wife less time than the other. For example, if the allotment ends with one wife and he says, “Let us start the allotment anew,” causing it to begin again with the same wife—this is another form of oppression.