ADVICE: O Husband, O Father, Beware Of Being A Muṭaffif (one who cheats by taking full rights but giving less in return)

The esteemed Shaykh Al-Allāmah, Muḥammad Ibn Ṣāliḥ Al-ʿUthaymīn - may Allāh have mercy on him - said: "...For example, the husband wants his wife to give him his right in full and is not lenient in anything regarding his right, but when it comes to fulfilling her rights, he is careless and does not give her what is due to her. How many women complain about this type of husband - and we seek refuge with Allāh - where many women have husbands who want them to fulfill their rights completely, yet they themselves do not give them their full rights. They may even deprive them of most of their rights, whether it be financial support, good companionship, or other matters. What is strange, my brothers, is that this is often found among people whose outward appearance shows adherence to the religion. Some women even say, “I did not choose him; I was told he is good, with a good reputation and adherence to the religion.” Then, to her surprise, he turns out to be worse towards his wife than the openly sinful people. I do not know about these people who outwardly appear committed to the religion – do they think that being religious means only worshipping Allāh while neglecting the rights of His creation? That it means worshipping Allāh but wasting or depriving people’s rights? Oppressing people is more serious than a person wronging himself with regard to the rights of Allāh. Because wronging oneself in Allāh’s rights (if it is less than shirk) is under Allāh’s Will - if He wills, He forgives it, and if He wills, He punishes for it. But the rights of other people are not under the Divine Will; they must be repaid. That is why the Prophet ﷺ said: "Do you know who is poor bankrupt person? They (the Companions) said: A poor bankrupt person amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor wealth. He (ﷺ) replied: The poor bankrupt person of my Ummah would be he who would would come on the Day of Resurrection with salah and fasts and Zakat but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others and unlawfully consumed the wealth of others and shed the blood of others and beat others, and his virtues would be credited to the account of those (who suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear their account before justice is fulfilled, then their sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the fire.” [Transmitted by Muslim (2581) from the hadith of Abu Hurairah]. My advice to those who neglect their wives’ rights - whether they appear sticking to the Deen or not - is to have taqwaa of Allāh the Mighty and Majestic. For the Prophet ﷺ gave this advice in the greatest gathering witnessed by the Islamic world during his lifetime – on the Day of ʿArafah during the Farewell Pilgrimage. He said: ((فَاتَّقُوا اللهَ فِي النِّسَاءِ، فَإِنَّكُمْ أَخَذْتُمُوهُنَّ بِأَمَانِ الله، وَاسْتَحْلَلْتُمْ فُرُوجَهُنَّ بِكَلِمَةِ الله)) "Have Taqwaa of Allāh regarding women, for you have taken them as a trust from Allāh, and have made their private parts lawful to you by the word of Allāh.” [Muslim] He also said: ((اتَّقُوا اللهَ فِي النِّسَاءِ؛ فَإِنَّهُنَّ عَوَانٍ عِنْدَكُمْ)). “Have Taqwaa regarding women, for they are captives with you.” [Ahmad] Meaning, they are like captives in your care – for a captive remains under the control of the one who captured him; he may release him or keep him. Likewise, the woman is under the authority of her husband; if he wills, he keeps her, and if he wills, he divorces her. So he must have Taqwaa of Allāh regarding her. We also find some people wanting their children to give them their full rights, yet they neglect their children’s rights.