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1⃣. It is not allowed to ponder and reflect on the essence of Allah, but rather one should ponder on the creation of Allah: قال رسول الله ﷺ: تفكروا في آلاء الله، ولا تفكروا في الله. [رواه الطبراني، وحسنه الألباني] The Prophet ﷺ said: “Ponder over the bounties of Allāh and do not ponder over Allāh [Himself].” This is the Aqeedah of Ahlus-Sunnah wal-Jamaa'ah, as Aṭ-Ṭaḥāwi said: لا تبلغه الأوهام، ولا تدركه الأفهام، ولا يشبه الأنام... “No illusion can reach Him, no understanding can comprehend Him, and He does not resemble the creation.” Imām Al-Barbahāri (may Allah have mercy upon him) said: والفكرة في الله تبارك وتعالى بدعة؛ لقول رسول الله ﷺ ((تفكروا في الخلق، ولا تفكروا في الله))، فإن الفكرة في الرب تفتح الشك في القلب. Pondering over Allāh - The Blessed and Most High - is an innovation due to statement of Allāh’s Messenger ﷺ: “Ponder over the creation of Allāh and do not ponder over Allāh [Himself].” For indeed, pondering over The Lord gives way to doubt entering the heart. Pondering and trying to imagine Allāh's Essence is the plot of Shayṭān especially against the laypeople. AL-Ḥāfidh Ibn Al-Jawzi (may Allah have mercy upon him) mentions from the Devil's Deception on the Layfolk is . . . “lblis whispers to the layperson to contemplate Allāh's nature. So he begins to have doubt. Allah's Messenger ﷺ said: "Satan comes to one of you and says: 'Who created so-and-so?' till he says: 'Who has created your Lord?' So, when he inspires such a question, one should seek refuge with Allah and give up such thoughts [Muslim (no. 113)]" [Devil's Deception (pg. 513)-English Translation] However, pondering on the effects/ and the meanings of the Attributes of Allah is allowed, rather this is what a person should be doing. Shaikh Abdul-Aziz ar-Raajihi (may Allah preserve him) said in commentary of Imam al-Barbahaari's speech above: المقصود: التفكر في ذات الله، وليس في صفات الله وعظمته؛ لقول الرسول ﷺ: (تفكروا في الخلق، ولا تفكروا في الله)، أخرجه أبو الشيخ في كتابه العظمة، من حديث ابن عباس مرفوعاً، وإسناده ضعيف ولكن له شواهد أخرى وعلى هذا فيكون بشواهده حسناً لغيره. فلا يتفكر الإنسان في ذات الله، وإنما يتفكر في صفات الله فيتفكر في علم الله الواسع وفي عظمته وفي قدرته. 2⃣. The source for the questioner's problem arose when they misunderstood the meaning of Ihsan in the Hadith of Jibreel and began imagining the throne of Allah. The meaning Ihsaan mentioned in the Hadith ( أَنْ تَعْبُدَ اللَّهَ كَأَنَّك تَرَاهُ) was explained by Scholars like Shaikh Salih Aal Shaikh (may Allah preserve him) in his Explanation of the Forty Hadith of Imam an-Nawawi (pg. 74-75) who said: