You need to be realistic when looking for a spouse ‼️

Khālid Ibn Ṣafwan At-Tameemi (from the most eloquent of people during the era of the Taabi'een) saw a group in the masjid of Baṣrah, and he asked them, “What is this gathering?” He was told, “There is a woman who informs men about women who are available for marriage.” So he went to her and said, “I want to marry a woman.” She said, “Describe her to me.” So he described her saying, “I want her to be a virgin who is wise like a married woman, or a married woman who is innocent like a virgin; she should be sweet when she is near, splendid when she is at a distance, she should have lived a life of luxury and then became afflicted with poverty – so she has the manners of the rich and the humility of the poor. When we gather wealth, we should be as the people of the world, and when we become poor, we should be as the people of the Hereafter.” She said, “I know of such a woman for you.” He said, “And where is she?” She replied, “In Paradise! So work hard to achieve her!” [Al-’Aqd Al-Fareed (7/116)]