BENEFIT 259: Approach matters with gentleness

Sheikh ’Uthaymīn: I shared this story to clarify that if a mufti is asked about a matter and sees that the questioner has fallen into a greater mistake, what should he do? Student: Advise him. Sheikh: He should advise him. For example, if someone approaches you asking for a fatwa and says that he performed Ṭawāf around the Ka’bah but did not pray behind Maqām Ibrāhīm, and you notice that he has shaved his beard, which is worse: missing the two units of prayer behind Maqām Ibrāhīm or shaving his beard? Student: The latter. Sheikh: The latter is more serious. So, you should gently tell him, "I want to give you a fatwa, but I will also advise you about something more important, which is that you should let your beard grow." Shaving the beard is disobeying the Prophet ﷺ, who said: "Let your beards grow and trim your mustaches." Shaving the beard aligns one with the customs of the Magians and the polytheists, as the Prophet ﷺ said: "Whoever imitates a people is one of them." Shaving the beard also opposing the guidance of the Prophets and Messengers, and whoever strays from their path is in danger. The proof of this is that it is known that the Prophet ﷺ had a full and thick beard, and the Prophets before him followed this natural practice. When Musa returned from his appointment with his Lord and found that Banū Isrā'īl had worshipped the calf, what did he do to his brother Hārūn? Yes, he grabbed what? He grabbed his brother by the head and pulled him, holding onto his beard. He said to him, "O son of my mother, do not seize me by my beard or my head!" Hārūn then explained his reasoning, saying, "I feared that you would say I caused division among Banū Isrā'īl and did not respect your command." So, when this person asks you about performing Ṭawāf without praying behind Maqām Ibrāhīm, yet he has shaved his beard, before issuing a fatwa, you should first advise him. But should you advise him harshly and publicly humiliate him, or should you speak softly into his ear? Student: The latter. Sheikh: The latter, because that is true advice and more likely to be accepted. But if you were to embarrass him in front of everyone, saying, "Yes, you, the one who has followed the customs of the Magians and opposed the guidance of the Messengers, you who have disobeyed the Prophet, and whoever disobeys the Prophet has disobeyed Allāh," what would he say to that? Yes, he would be overcome with fear and confusion, wondering what you are talking about. In fact, someone I trust told me about a preacher who stood at the door of a masjid and gave a sermon about shaving the beard, saying, "Whoever shaves his beard has become a disbeliever." I seek refuge in Allāh! Then he cited the Prophet's saying ﷺ: "Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not from me," and added that if the Prophet disassociates from someone, it is only disassociation from a polytheist, as Allāh says: "You have a good example in Ibrāhīm and those with him when they said to their people, 'Indeed, we have disassociated from you and from what you worship other than Allāh.'" Look at this great ignorance! This person wants to declare half of the masjid disbelievers. Yes, due to his ignorance, though his intention might be good, he is ignorant. We have tried and heard from others who have tried that offering advice with kindness and persuasion is far more effective than harshness. This confirms the saying of the Prophet ﷺ: "Indeed, Allāh grants through gentleness what He does not grant through harshness," and "Allāh is gentle and loves gentleness in all matters." Therefore, O young men and O brothers, always approach matters with gentleness, for gentleness brings goodness in all things. [فتاوى الحرم المكي-1418-30a] https://www.alathar.net/home/esound/index.php?op=codevi&coid=122616