Placing Sincere Advice in Its Proper Time and Context

Question How should advice be given? And is it permissible to publicly expose (individuals) and to cause separation between the one being advised and his brothers? Shaykh Muhammad Ba Jamal hafidhahullah Advice is that the intention of the one giving it is truly to advise and to rectify the condition of the one being advised, and that he benefits from it. This varies from person to person. Some people need advice in private, while others need it in public. Some require gentle advice, while others require firmness. Some need strictness, and others may even require physical discipline. All of this occurs. The insightful person is the one who places matters in their proper context and deals with each situation accordingly. The Prophet ﷺ was once with his companions when a Bedouin entered the masjid, went to a corner, lifted his garment, and began to urinate. If someone today saw such a situation in a masjid, what would happen? He would be shocked and rush to stop him. But what did the Prophet ﷺ say? He said: “Leave him until he finishes urinating.” When the man finished, having heard what passed between the Prophet ﷺ and his companions, he came and said: “O Allah, forgive me and Muhammad, and do not forgive anyone else with us,” or words to that effect. The Prophet ﷺ said: “You have restricted something vast,” then explained to him that these masjids are not suitable for such (acts); rather, they are built for prayer, remembrance, and glorification of Allah. The scholars mentioned wisdom in this: the man had already begun urinating, so telling him to stop would not help. Secondly, it would harm him since stopping suddenly after beginning causes harm. Also, the impurity had already reached the ground of the masjid; so stopping him would not remove the harm already done. Furthermore, it could cause the urine to spread onto his body and clothes. Therefore, the Prophet ﷺ said: “Leave him until he finishes,” then he taught him and ordered that a bucket of water be poured over it. Another example: Muʿāwiyah ibn Al-Ḥakam As-Sulamī, who had recently accepted Islam, was praying when someone sneezed, so he said: “May Allah have mercy on you.” The people began striking their thighs to signal to him to be quiet because speaking like this is not allowed in prayer. He said: “May my mother be bereaved of me! Why are you silencing me?” Which was worse the first or the second? The second, clearly. He was ignorant. When he finished the prayer, he said: “By Allah, I have never seen a better teacher than the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. By Allah, he did not strike me nor rebuke me harshly; rather he said: 'This prayer is not suitable for the (speech) of people; rather it is recitation of the Qur’an, remembrance, and glorification.'” He taught him with gentleness because he was ignorant of the ruling. In other situations, the Prophet ﷺ would openly rebuke. As in Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, a man entered the masjid and said: “Has anyone seen a red camel?” Seeking his lost property. If the Prophet ﷺ had remained silent and intended to advise him privately later, those present would assume such an act is permissible. So the Prophet ﷺ responded: “May you not find it!” Publicly condemning his action. The difference between this and the case of urination is that urinating in the masjid is clearly known to be wrong, whereas announcing lost property in the masjid is not equally known by everyone to be prohibited. The Prophet ﷺ said to ʿUmar ibn Abī Salamah: “O young boy, mention Allah’s name, eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you.” Gentle instruction. But in the hadith of Salamah ibn Al-Akwaʿ, a man was eating with his left hand. The Prophet ﷺ said: “Eat with your right hand.” The man replied: “I cannot.” (though he could). Salamah said nothing prevented him except arrogance. So the Prophet ﷺ said: “May you never be able to.” Another case: a man who had drunk alcohol was brought to the Prophet ﷺ and was punished.