#LIFE_LESSONS

Safeguarding Secrets Sheikh Faisal Al-Hashidi ḥafidhahullāh writes: Remember, my brother in faith, that one who entrusts you with his secrets is a brother who loves you and has placed his confidence in you. Therefore, be worthy of his trust and protect his secrets just as you would protect any trust—material or otherwise. Jābir ibn ʿAbdillāh (may Allāh be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allāh ﷺ said: ((إذا حدث الرجل بالحديث، ثم التفت فهي أمانة)) “When a man relates something to another and then looks around, it is a trust.” Narrated by Abū Dāwūd, At-Tirmidhī, and Aḥmad; authenticated by Al-Albānī in Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Jāmiʿ and Aṣ-Ṣaḥīḥah. Sheikh Faisal — may Allāh pardon him — comments: “This is a great Prophetic etiquette, whereby the Prophet ﷺ considered a man turning to his right and left while speaking equivalent to entrusting a secret, obliging its concealment and prohibiting its transmission.” Ibn Raslān said: “His looking around informs the listener that he fears others may overhear his speech and that he has singled him out with his secret — as though the turning of his head stands in place of saying: ‘Conceal this for me,’ meaning: ‘Receive it from me and conceal it; it is a trust with you.’” [ʿAwn Al-Maʿbūd, 7/13148] Disclosing a secret leads to the dismantling of the structure of brotherhood, undermining it at its very foundations. Nothing preserves affection like safeguarding secrets. Protect the secrets of your brothers and you will retain their affection. If you refuse, you are not the one to blame; rather, the blame is upon the one who trusted you. A poet said: إذا المرء لم يحفظ سريرة نفسه * وكان لسر الأخ غير كتوم فبعدا له من ذي أخ ومودة! * وليس على ود له بمقيم If a man does not guard the secret within himself,  and is not trustworthy with his brother’s secret, then away with him from brotherhood and affection!  For he is unfit to remain in love’s companionship. [Rawḍat Al-ʿUqalāʾ, p. 312] Ash-Shāfiʿī said: إذا المرء أفشى سره بلسانه * ولا عليه غيره فهو أحمق إذا ضاق صدر المرء عن سر نفسه * فصدر الذي يُستودع السر أضيق If a man reveals his own secret with his tongue,  and then blames others, he is but a fool. If a man’s chest cannot hold his own secret,  then the chest of the one entrusted with it is even tighter. [Dīwān Ash-Shāfiʿī, p. 92, ed. Al-Biqāʿī] And if you have a friend who keeps your secrets, do not entrust him with another’s trust, for your friend too has a friend, and so on. One cannot be certain that the secret will not become public knowledge. A poet said: إذا ما كتمت السر عمن أودُّه * توهم أن الود غير حقيقي ولم أخفِ عنه السر من ظنه به * ولكني أخشى صديق صديقي If I hide a secret from one I love,  he assumes that the affection is not sincere. I do not hide the secret out of distrust in him,  but because I fear the friend of my friend. [Rasāʾil Al-Iṣlāḥ, 2/17] When a man becomes known for concealing secrets, he becomes regarded among people as dignified and composed, for divulging secrets is one of the excesses of speech, and he who indulges in excess speech is not dignified. [See Tahdhīb Al-Akhlāq by Al-Jāḥidh (p. 25)] A poet praised a dignified man saying: ويكتم الأسرار حتى إنه * يصونها عن أن تمر بباله. He conceals secrets so completely that  he safeguards them even from passing through his own thoughts. [Adhl-Dharīʿah ilā Makārim Ash-Sharīʿah, p. 297] Among the traits of the noble is that he preserves his companion’s secret even after the ties of affection have been severed; the ignoble behaves in the opposite manner. A poet said: ليس الكريم الذي إذا زل صاحبه * بث الذي كان من أسراره علما بل الكريم الذي تبقى مودته * ويحفظ السر إن صافا وإن صرما. The noble is not one who, when his companion slips,  spreads the knowledge of what secrets he once entrusted. Rather, the noble is he whose affection endures,  and who guards the secret in harmony and in separation. [ʿAyn Al-Adab wa-as-Siyāsah, p. 70]